Friday 30 June 2017

Self Care


July 2017

Self Care by Dr Elizabeth McCardell, M. Couns., PhD

     I care about you. How often have we who care, heard this said to us? I suspect, not often enough. And yet hearing it is medicine for the soul. It is pretty hard working in the caring professions (nurses, doctors, paramedics, counsellors, psychotherapists, psychologists, social workers, vets, etc) without receiving some gentleness and care words, or even just someone to hear what we have to say. We tend to push on doing what we feel we must do, even when we begin showing signs of compassion fatigue, or its more chronic form, vicarious traumatization, which is the cumulative effect of an a more than empathic engagement with our client’s traumatic material to the point of feeling really hurt ourselves. We sometimes care a bit too much and for too long. Empathy is our greatest asset as well as possibly our greatest liability.

      Compassion fatigue may not become chronic and may not bleed into feelings of vicarious traumatisation and may not eventuate ultimately in burnout, if we ask for help early and practice necessary self care. Burnout is literally a feeling of running on empty. It is characterized by exhaustion, depersonalization (which is disengagement or detachment from the world around us) and lessened feeling of self efficacy.

     Compassion fatigue is like a sort of catching of the other person’s emotions as we might catch their flu infections and in this vulnerable state we risk over-identifying with them and may seek to rescue or protect them beyond the calling of our jobs, on the one hand, or avoid them altogether (thus not doing our job properly). Absenteeism, low morale, job dissatisfaction, depression, nightmares, intrusive imagery, irritability, difficulty forming intimate relationships, high levels of stress, and, sometimes, substance abuse are all signs of empathy gone to the point of profound fatigue.

     I’ve known a few people (counsellors, doctors, paramedics, etc) who have chronically over cared to the point of vicarious traumatization  and, actually, burnout. These are people who pushed themselves just too far to the next client in need (and maybe they forgot they are human), without a break, without asking for help, without practicing any self care at all. Their capacity to do their job just wasn’t there anymore. Now some cannot work at all, while others have pushed on still and now teach their profession. The lecturer in trauma counselling at  the University of Notre Dame, Fremantle, where I did my Master of Counselling degree  those several years ago showed all the signs of burnout. He was so strung out that he lived on a diet of Coca-Cola and black coffee and cigarettes, despite recent major heart surgery. He talked fast. without intonation, without engagement with us, like a dead man talking.

     We do not need to get to the point of overload. We can learn to manage our work-after work life so that we do not succumb to compassion fatigue and the more intransigent vicarious traumatization and burnout. One of the ways is to seek counselling not only when we are feeling fragile, but as a regular component of our working life.  This shouldn’t be seen as a luxury, but as a necessity.  Getting counselling, or the longer term psychotherapy, is entering a safe place where what is said isn’t disclosed to anyone. This is a confidential space where strategies for coping are learned, but more than this, here is somewhere to simply say the things that need to be said and be heard by someone, like myself, who cares.

     Work-related stress in high empathy occupations has a physical impact on us as well as an emotional impact and self care therefore needs to  have a physical component as well. Cardio exercise, swimming, qi gong, yoga, dance, music making, and a nutritious clean diet are good. Practicing the quiet of meditation, mindful contemplation, slow walking in nature, gardening, massages and smelling flowers may nourish us.

     Let us not forget ourselves in the caring dynamic. Caring for others, needs to begin with self care. In this way, we can maintain throughout our working lives, the sense of purpose that got us into the caring professions in the first place.






Sunday 25 June 2017

Paper delivered to clinicians 22nd June 2017


Elizabeth McCardell, June 2017

Exploring an approach to restoring reciprocity in the relationship of therapist and patient in depressed patients with blunted facial expressiveness

     In therapy there is not me and not you, but us, as Neville Symington put it.

     In here there is usually connection, contact and relationship. And when you look at a therapeutic pair (as through a one way mirror, or on a video) you can see a kind of dance, where mirroring of movement and facial expression and phrase sharing takes place.

     The body is a sensitive “sounding-board” in which every emotion reverberates both within and between us, at least in the normal course of an encounter, as William James put it (1884). Emotions are literally e-motions, that is, a movement between what is felt and displayed and what is visible in expression (Fuchs and Koch, 2014). Between people, there is in the facial, gestural and postural expression of a feeling a bodily resonance that feeds back into the feeling itself, but which also induces processes of interaffectivity: my expression is affected by your expression which affects my expression, and so forth. Thus I experience the kinetics and intensity of your emotions through my own bodily kinaesthesia and sensation. 

     Merleau-Ponty (1962) describes  it this way,
     “The communication or comprehension of gestures comes about through the       reciprocity of my intentions and the gestures of others, of my gestures and the intentions discernible in the conduct of other people. It is as if the other person's intentions inhabited my body and mine his”.

     I can best illustrate this using the möbius strip. There is here a chiasm of reciprocity


     The möbius strip, that mathematical morphological idea that describes a two dimensional surface , a loop with a single twist, where surface A, when followed around becomes surface B, also beautifully describes, symbolically, the therapeutic relationship: not you, not me, but us. There is here not two surfaces, but one expressed two ways.

     I often use the möbius strip as a model to illustrate the nature of reciprocity, as it provides a useful and graphic account of the chiasm of relationships. In what I am exploring here is something that is poorly understood and needs, I think, much more work.

     Right now, I’ll do something I did in my doctoral thesis (2001. Then, as now, I shall attempt an examination of an embodied account of reciprocity by resorting to its study by an examination of absence, by what is not there, in order to better comprehend what might be there.

     With the PhD thesis, I wanted to examine the cognitive and non-cognitive realm of relationships within self, self-others, and self-environment, and so  I employed a method used by astronomers whereby the existence of as yet unseen cosmic entities is theorized to exist by the behaviour of surrounding cosmic entities. It’s a method that then allowed me to discover, to a degree things like memory, perception of time,  interconnections of behaviour and culture, relationship of body movement and intention, etc, through the examination of neurological disorders of Tourettes, Parkinsons Disease, Asperger’s . Absence helped point to presence. 

     As then, so now, I am moved to attempt to know more of human reciprocity in the therapeutic encounter by noticing what happens when the other person presents as somehow unengaged in that dance of reciprocity. I shall use the flatness of facial expression and its accompanying detachment and feelings of joylessness as the sign of this.

     Blunted affect, or as it sometimes called, anhedonia (where there is no felt pleasure in life: passive joylessness and dreariness, discouragement, dejection, lack of zest), can be found in a range of psychiatric conditions including mood disorders, schizophrenia and post traumatic stress disorder, and so on, as well as the influence of long term use of some antidepressants.

     The lack of felt pleasure is manifest in facial expression, slowed down body movement, and unengaged posture. Coupled with these signs is a growing felt sense of isolation and detachment from the lives of other people. The reciprocity between people is lacking. The “us-ness” is impoverished.

     I shall only speak about clinical depression as the kind of clients I most see are those with depression. 

     My personal reactions to the client with blunted affect are thrown into a certain degree of confusion. I am not as able to respond to the person in front of me, because many of the familiar cues are absent. The give and take of mirroring, as the dance of interaction is blunted. What is happening and how can I move this along somehow?

     I am remembering here of Jarrah, a 33 year old woman I saw for 6 weekly sessions last year. Jarrah’s mother rang me to make an appointment for Jarrah. She said her daughter has anxiety, depression and OCD. I asked then to speak to Jarrah about times and dates. Jarrah enthusiastically responded and so we organized a time for the first session.

     Jarrah presented with that familiar waxy look and lack of motility in the give and take of my relationship with her. She described feeling isolated, and dead inside. She would smile as an actor might, without engagement of herself and me, and which I felt repelled by, without fully understanding why. 

     Jarrah was 33, a reluctant mother and one where her deep depression began when she became pregnant while traveling overseas.  Her own mother had been severely traumatized by her Dutch parents who were absent much of the time during the war and by their war-time experiences. For her anxiety, Jarrah’s mother took valium. Her father was similarly damaged by his post-war family life in Holland and is now alcoholic and living alone. Jarrah, growing up with anxious parents, was fundamentally deprived of a sound and secure attachment with her primary caregiver, that is her mother. Whenever Jarrah sought comfort from her mother, Mum gave her valium. This continued throughout life. Jarrah wanted closeness, but her mother pushed her away and medicalized her need.

    Jarrah is single and lives on her own and with her young son. Her 9 year old son spends a lot of time being mothered by his father’s mother. Her son seems to be getting reasonable and stable support with the grandmother.
    
     I asked Jarrah what her obsessive compulsive disorder looked like. Interestingly it consisted of checking her body when she was dressing and also checking her body when preparing food in the kitchen. She avoided the kitchen because it became extremely tedious having to check her body repeatedly. I was curious about whether Jarrah had thoughts of suiciding in the presence of kitchen knives, but did not ask this directly. It seemed that suicidal thoughts were not there. It was the iterative nature of the OCD that was the problem. Checking her body repeatedly was like not having much connection with being embodied; like having a concept of a body without any intrinsic knowing of being bodied.

     What was it like for me being with Jarrah and her feelings of anhedonia? How was it for me to sit with a woman who was so unengaged at an embodied level, in the therapeutic conversation, with someone not in emotional affective exchange? Frankly, it was hard.  I found my mind wandering and theorizing and staying engaged was quite hard work. It was as though the centre was not holding, as Yeats puts it. I felt in my body somehow set adrift.

     And so I theorized some kind of healing and I suspect now, at least, that my desire for a solution may well have lacked sensitivity and understanding given the nature of my patient’s long standing problems. I felt also a bit pressured by the sense that I didn’t have much time to work with her.

     During the 3rd session I suggested she resume swimming (she had been a competitive swimmer), doing yoga and dance (activities she loves). I proposed these to her to loosen her body and get moving. The explanation I gave her was about endorphins, and the like, but I knew from my doctoral work that there is more going on than just simply moving. There is patterning and mirroring and shaping that impels reciprocity between people and it is this that healing takes place.

    By the 5th session, Jarrah presented as more engaged and her facial movement of affectivity was more noticeable.  There was more mirroring between us, her facial muscles were relaxed and there was little evidence of the false smile of theatre, and the dialogue between us was more fluid and natural than previously.

     Unfortunately, her  medicalized “story” of depression of her life, reinforced by her mother, kicked in once again and on the 6th and final session, Jarrah said she couldn’t afford to come any more and her mother said she needed to resume seeing her psychiatrist, and so that’s what she would do.

     I sometimes see Jarrah on the streets of Lismore. She has her waxy complexion and her stilted smile back again, which is quite disheartening.

------

     In most social encounters there are two cycles of embodied affectivity which become intertwined, thus continuously modifying each subject's approach and response. This complex process may be regarded as the bodily basis of empathy and social understanding: a dance where each person feels connected to the other. This happens very quickly and happens to connect each person  also to the perceptions of themselves. There is a feedback loop happening here.

     When a person doesn’t feel connected, there is, along with a constriction, a rigidity, a sort of missing tension-flow modulation, a numbness, an affective depersonalization.  The deeply depressed are no longer capable of being moved and affected by things, situations or other persons. They complain of indifference, a “feeling of not feeling” and of not being able to sympathize with anyone anymore.  They  feel disconnected from the world and they lose their participation in the interaffective space that we normally share with  others.

     In  a  rather splendid book by Jonathan Cole (1999), called About Face where he writes of a  condition called the möbius syndrome, Cole captures first person accounts of what it feels like not to be engaged in the dance of reciprocity.

     Named after Paul Julius Möbius, a German neurologist, in 1888 and not the möbius strip it permits a neat coalescence of ideas surrounding that give and take of reciprocity.

     The Möbius Syndrome is a rare neurological disorder characterized by weakness or palsy of multiple cranial nerves. This means the fluidity and flexibility of facial expression is absent.  It is an extreme condition, for sure, but what is expressed by those with the condition tells us a lot about what might be happening with the deeply depressed client.

     People with möbius syndrome feel disengaged and unable to read the emotions of others. As a patient of Cole puts it, “Mostly I think I exist in my sub-conscious or preconscious mind,” but [I do not feel real as an embodied self.] In other words the very capacity to be responsive to the other is permitting a theory of mind that is more than an idea or concept of one’s own mind and the minds of others. It is a theory of mind that requires a psycho-socio engagement, and not merely an abstract thought. I’m intrigued by this and wonder if a self-other disembodied self is possibly like being in a trance state.

     I’ll leave that out there, and return to the thesis of engagement: a not you, a not me, but an us.

     Feelings and emotions enliven us, but when they are cut off from experience a whole range of  embodied processes are reduced, and as they are reduced so the person enters a state of isolation.  The greater the sense of isolation, the greater the break in possible reciprocity  between self and therapist and other relationships.

     Intrinsic to intercorporeality and thus relationality is having a sense of agency and thus being able to respond to the other person. When this capacity to respond is diminished and meaningful encounter is less present then we need to find ways to reconnect ourselves and those we work with.

     I suggested to Jarrah swimming, yoga and dance because these are activities that gives her pleasure. I do not think that these activities would be universally useful and that reconnecting affectivity would have to be tailored to the individual. I do not, also suggest that these activities need to be done in the psychotherapeutic session, but are more usefully to be used as homework.

     What may be valuable is an aware embodied shaping of what is said in the session. I don’t mean phony modelling of facial expression, or words, or anything as obtrusive as this, but  bringing a deeper understanding of what an embodied reciprocity looks like in the therapeutic encounter and somehow bringing this knowledge into some concrete form within the therapeutic encounter, in session. Neuro-linguistic programming uses this idea in the conscious therapeutic use of identifying how a patient operates in the world: kinaesthetically, auditorily,  and visually. NLP is, unfortunately frequently rather clumsily done, and is a bit too obvious for my liking.

     The us of the therapeutic encounter is a fertile ground that needs much more understanding in terms of process, and in terms of a process that can become more than description to a therapeutic tool in itself. This is in here an indwelling of the deep structure of a more than linguistic exchange and an exploration of healing at the heart of a depth psychology of embodiment.


References
Cole, Jonathan (1999) About Face, The MIT Press, Cambridge, Massachusetts.

James, W. (1884). What is an emotion? Mind 9, 188–205. doi: 10.1093/mind/os-IX.34.188

Fuchs, Thomas and Sabine C. Koch (2014) Embodied affectivity: on moving and being moved, Hypothesis and Theory Article, published 06 June 2014, fsyg-05-00508.pdf

McCardell, Elizabeth Eve (2001) Catching the Ball: Constructing the Reciprocity of Embodiment,  PhD thesis, Murdoch University, Western Australia.

Merleau-Ponty, M. (1962). The Phenomenology of Perception. New York, NY: Humanities Press.