March 2020
by Dr Elizabeth McCardell, M.Couns, PhD
What happens to a person
after stress and trauma really matters. Most studies have identified the effect
of these from a psychophysiological standpoint
(including disruption to sleep, alcohol and drug misuse, depression and
anger management problems), but there are those of us who are interested in something
completely different.
At the risk of sounding airy
fairy, I note that there is a spiritual dimension to this realignment process.
I’ve observed it in myself and in others. The effect of trauma (and, yes, I’ve
known this) was to move me from a more pragmatic life to one more interested in
the numinous, and with this, a deepening empathic response to others. I note
here that I’m understanding ‘spirituality’ as a felt search for meaning that
transcends the nuts and bolts of ordinary life and connects us to a
timelessness, and thus to ourselves.
It is as though the stressful
experiences stripped the outer covering of conventional being (a state of being
which, of course, is very useful in everyday life) to reveal something much
more intangible and inexplicable. And thus, I now move tentatively to explore
this other dimension of being.
It is not unknown for people
to seek a deepened spiritual life after trauma of whatever kind. Some seek it
and find it in the Christianity, or Buddhism, or whatever. Some seek out more esoteric
spiritual paths. Some find contentment in the rituals, beliefs, and practices
(which is perfectly okay), while others feel for something else. A client of
mine, for instance, says that when she enters her local church that it is like
entering the layers and layers of spiritual experiences before the church was
even thought of; for her, she senses she’s entered a timeless space. I got
something of this last year in my visit to Obernai, in Alsace, France and a walk through
oak and pines beside the Pagan Wall that surrounds Mont Sainte-Odile Abbey. This convent was built originally in 690 AD,
and remodelled in the 12th century. This is experienced as such by
people all over the world.
So, is
the seeking of a more spiritual life merely a self soothing response to
recently experienced stress, or is something else happening? The more cynical will claim the former, but –
again – I’m less likely to go along with that explanation, and this is mainly
because one’s angst isn’t diminished, but rather heightened in some ways. I
suggest that this search for meaning and a deepening of a felt spiritual
connection is part of a realignment of being human. It’s as though we are refashioned.
Some writers have suggested that this realignment allows us to face new trauma more
easily and to also to better help others get through their stresses. Donald Meichenbaum,
co-founder of the cognitive behaviour therapy school of
psychotherapy has noted this, as does the founder of logotherapy, Viktor
Frankl, through his experiences in a Nazi concentration camp. The search for
meaning allows us to consider things beyond immediate painful events, and to be more empathic with others. This in
itself makes us more aware of the humanity of ourselves in relation to others.
The old
ways of being that responded to stress (with sleep disruption, outbursts of
anger, misuse of substances, etc) can be shifted to something else through not
merely choice, but a responsiveness to a spiritual call of whatever kind.
Death, divorce, loss of job, experience of the absolutely horrible can open us
up to other levels of experiencing the world. This is quite risky, as it means
discarding certain familiar ways of doing things; it means, also, recognizing
that anger, depression, etc are not doing us any good.
Frankl puts
it well, ‘Everything can be taken from (us) but one thing: the last of the
human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to
choose one’s own way. For herein lies our growth and our freedom.’ There is a
space between a possible trigger and our response, and therein lies our freedom.
