Selfies: Real Self or False? by Dr Elizabeth McCardell,
M. Couns., PhD
As my
friends are probably well aware, I don’t like having my photograph taken. I
never have. The few photographs of me as a child show an awkward child hiding
behind my mother’s cotton dresses, or twisted around behind a fence, or
something. I never liked being the object of “the gaze”, as literary theorists
put it. So you don’t often see me smiling into the lens; you see something
serious, which isn’t the whole truth of me. I can be silly, funny, and
lightsome.
Someone
once did a study on who most smiles into the camera and psychotherapists and
photographers are least likely to. We can conjecture here, as I have done on
several occasions, that photographers and therapists prefer to do the looking
and not be seen to be observing. We earn our living watching and listening
intently and working with others to find a more comfortable place within
themselves and in their relationships. A good photo provides a sort of anchor
to experience and a good therapeutic session brings a greater ease into life.
You wont
find me taking selfies. This phenomenon that is extensively exhibited on social
media is alien to me. My facebook page has a picture of a seal, at the moment.
At other times, you’ll find the tiger, named Richard Parker, from the movie,
The Life of Pi, or some raven, a whale, or something or other. For me to put up
an actual picture of me doesn’t make me feel awkward, so much as just bored
senseless. Now this is not to say that I am contemptuous of those who post
pictures of themselves, I am merely saying that I am uncomfortable posting
pictures of myself on social media.
My self-ness isn’t connected, in my mind, to pictures of myself.
It’s an
intriguing thing, the picture of oneself. Such artefacts reverse the image, so
that a photo isn’t an actual representation of oneself, yet many of us identify
with the picture, believing that the moment captured digitally is us. I read a
lot of forums online, interested as I am, in the questions people ask about
ordinary life, love, and meaning, and have noticed an exponential rise in
recent times in questions along the lines of “am I pretty/handsome, will the
boys/girls like me” accompanying selfies. It seems that these questioners identify
very much with their
representation of themselves, that their sense of selfhood is actually
contained in the photograph. I get the sense that such a belief in the image
hides selves who are extremely lonely, full of doubt, and suicidal. The endless
taking of the selfie, ironically, endeavours to connect the self to a presence
among people, and yet it often fails to do so.
I am
interested in presence and immersion in environments. Perversely, possibly, I
actively seek the rawness of encounter, and thus I enjoy diving to the bottom
of the sea, or slipping over icy pavements, or plunging head first into wild
places and thus I hardly ever actually photograph anything.
I do
admire beautiful pictures taken by others. Photography is a wonderful medium
and often, but not always, very creative. As a representation of reality,
though, it isn’t particularly. Whatever is depicted is still only a
two-dimensional thing; the presentation of depth and light and shadow are
merely tricks of the eye. The presence of a person is manifestly and
magnificently greater than the image on an iphone, newspaper, or whatever we
hold in our hand. Presence is the richness of contradiction, of concordance, of
playfulness, of tears, of heartfelt meeting, of serious words, of changing
visage, of the generosity of story and experience, of low points and
exhilaration, of anxiety, doubts, and despair; it is being in a way that mishmashes
together layers of interconnecting falsehoods and realities. To be a presence is all these things.
The photograph takes one piece and calls it everything.
This one
piece, though, has its place. It is a beginning of an exploration to the real
self; any piece of self (real or false) is this. This will be part of the theme
of an upcoming workshop.
In
August (20th – 21st), Indivar from Perth will be returning to this region to run a non-residential
weekend workshop, titled “From the False to the Real” which I will help
facilitate. Please email or phone
me for details (dr_mccardell@yahoo.com, mobile 0429 199 021).
Indivar (Jim
Coventry) has over 50 years experience as a clinical psychologist and group
leader. He is a gentle, incisive, insightful, creative, and very funny man and
workshop participants often come away feeling that deep and complex issues have
been addressed and selves spoken to at a deep hearts level. I’ve looked at the
faces of the people and seen profound shifts and a new ease of being. This is the kind of shift I observe
with my own clients and it’s very heartening. It’s a privilege to be present in the presence of fellow
discoverers who are serious about living their lives with conscious awareness
and delight in new understanding.
