Courage to Begin

April  2014

Courage to Begin  by Dr Elizabeth McCardell, M. Couns., PhD
 

      Diving is a good analogy for doing things in life.  There you are under the water in a wonderland of extraordinary beauty and potential great danger.  You got there after a life-time of wanting it, and now, it’s just Wow!

      There are critical matters to be dealt with underwater: the management of breath (too fast and you’ll run out of breath in a situation that could prove fatal, or at worst, hyperventilate and get light headed), the regulation of movement (chaotic flailing and the precious coral can be broken), the maintenance of balance and depth: a synergy of inflation of  buoyancy control device (a vest you wear), of properly located weights, and movement, and the knowledge of depth.  Then there are the regular necessary observations of  air supply and the  nuances of the surrounding environment (temperature of water, currents, visibility, benign and malevolent sea creatures, objects to swim around and through, rocks and weed, and the like). All this after the minute account of all the equipment necessary to keep in perfect working order is sorted  on land, and the site selected, and the wet suit, mask, cylinders, snorkel, weight belt, torch, knife, etc donned before the dive. Critical also of the preparation for diving is knowing you are fit and healthy and have a clear brain (no recent air travel or alcohol consumption), as well as having received proper and thorough training.

      Throwing yourself ill-prepared into the water is throwing your life away. The question is, when are you ready? Admittedly, diving is a fairly extreme example of doing things and other activities in life are not quite so critical, but the failure to do them well is just disappointing, which doesn’t feel good. It’s not loss of life, but it’s loss of frisson (that tingling, pleasure-filled delight, that excitement and passion of feeling fully alive). 

      I’ve had clients who’ve stood inside their state-of-the-art studios, with stretched canvas and paints laid out ready, but have felt completely stuck and unable to begin. There have been those hovering on the edge of starting their life changing business: website up and running, but they haven’t been able to get going and attract actual clients. The new computer, brand new pens, and endless notes are all lined up, ready for the first novel, but the person cannot write a thing. Everything seems great in the imaginary realms, but to actualize it is quite another thing.

      It’s here that therapy (counselling and clinical hypnotherapy) comes to its own, for feeling stuck, paradoxically, is the point of change and my work with clients, right here at this point, shifts everything dramatically. Stuckness felt in its intensity leads to its own breakthrough, if you acknowledge it as your problem. So it’s not about waiting for inspiration, the right time, or the right amount of information, it’s having the courage to admit you’re stuck and having the courage to know the passion in your heart, and thus to dive in.

      When I examine the meaning of the word courage, and trace its etymology, I appreciate the wisdom of the word. It means listening to your heart’s core, your innermost feelings and thoughts; listening to what drives you, what is the essence of your inner strength. Knowing the passion of your unique heart, is the beginning of a project lived.

      There is something inevitable about throwing yourself into doing something, even after all the feelings of anxiety and fear have arisen, and the stuckness has been overcome.  It is like the relief that comes from entering the buoyant place of water where gravity is resolved, more or less, and the horrid burden of heavy diving equipment feels pretty well gone. There is an easeful delight in swimming in the doing of an art work, the writing of a book, the working in a field that you love. 
Now you can play. Movement is free and easy and now it is rather fun. The fear of beginning is part of stuckness and the anxiety that what you start may not be perfect, is also part of it, but knowing that you are stuck is the beginning of new things. The  courage to recognize your stuckness is part of your wonderful courage to sing out loud your heart’s core.